We all contend with struggles in life that make the going therein a bit tricky. It’s often difficult to proceed and do so in ways in which we end up living the kind of lives we want. I mean really want and individuals who do so are rare in my professional opinion. Having said this, I’m aware that my perspective is perhaps skewed as few people come to see me in the midst of their life going swimmingly well. Take the question of how we are living our lives. Depending on the phase of life we are in and the set of tasks in front of us this question isn’t so simple to answer.
In order to answer it thoroughly, we want to think about and think through not only how we are living our lives currently but more importantly it hits upon the further question of how we want to be living our lives but additionally how do we want to live our lives in the future. This question highlights that in order to do so we have to make connections between how we are living currently and how we would like to live our lives in the future and should there be discrepancies therein use our minds to think about what do about them — if anything. It presents us with a type of mental equation of living dilemma. The thought process entails a type of “problem solving” equation in relation to our lives and how and why we are living them currently but also whether or not we would like to live them differently — and if so, how do we go about designing our lives differently?
Most of us want to live our lives in ways that feel good to us and how we get from here to there as it were is what a mental equation presents us with. In the situation I’m hitting upon in the book, the mental equation of living is how do we live our lives and do so in ways that connect us to our well-being. The thinking through process and application of our thoughts and actions to reach a desired outcome presents us with a bit of a dilemma. What is to be discerned is whether what we are doing at the moment takes away or gives back to us in terms of helping us connect to ourselves in healthy ways that increases our wellbeing.
For instance, take an example of Kevin who comes to see me because he’s become depressed but doesn’t know why he’s become depressed. His depression presents us with a few mental equation of living questions. What does Kevin’s depression mean to him, what are the causative roots of his depression and what can be done to help him alleviate his suffering? Related, take Ruth who is depressed and conveys, unlike a Kevin, she knows the reason why. It’s related to her significant other breaking up with her leaving her to feel broken hearted. A problem, however, is that when Ruth was with her significant other she never seemed all that into her partner and more often than not wanted to be elsewhere. Currently, however, Ruth claims she’ll do anything to get back in the good graces of her ex.
